
Then let's say you happen to be a teenage boy growing up in the early 2000s. (This situation is hypothetical, and even though it did happen to me, let's pretend it didn't). If you cared about your social life, and wanted to function as a normal part of society you'd listen to U2 or Coldplay or some other mind numbing crap like that. (Offended yet? That feeling is only going to increase!) But you don't. You love this obscure weird genre known as progressive rock. (You'd be committing social suicide is what!) You try to push it upon your peers. Listen to this, it's cool! (But it really isn't)
So your friends, being the nice caring folks that they are, try and go along for the ride. They listen and pretend to like it. They pretend until they are out of your site and then they put on some *enter name of popular band in 2002* and then get drunk and pass out. The reason they do this is because Prog Rock is not cool.
Not cool? (Now the Prog fans are offended, but don't be yet). How could it not be cool? Because angry is cool. Simple songs that have lyrics about drugs and sex and murder are cool. "Well" you say, "Some Prog, deals with these smutty subject matters. Does that mean that angry dirty Prog is cool?" I'd hate to tell you this, but no, Prog is never cool. Why? Because music is not cool.


But why Paul? Why is it like this? Who created this horrible anti-music world that we currently live in? You really want to know? Well I have a great answer for you: Teenage Girls.
With their short attention spans and their mind focused only on themselves and their sexual awakening, teenage girls are a main consumer of music. They buy music more then anyone else. They all buy the same couple of discs too. They're the reason we have albums sold in the record numbers that they are sold in. The fact that they tend to listen to music with the speaker planted firmly between their legs may be the only logical explanation behind songs that repeat "you're beautiful" over and over and over again. (because that kind of stuff is void of music as well as any real emotion.)
After all I've told you, aren't you glad that Prog Rock isn't popular? How can you not be proud of listening to this genre? It's time to put on your smug hat and dance around the room. Oh, and if you are doubting the motivation of the paragraph on teenage girls, my next essay will expand and explain my reasoning behind this. For now just be happy that Prog is not cool. Besides, who wants it to be cool? Not me.